30 Days to Emotional Awareness & Wellness Challenge
Dr. Shené Marsh-Beckford • October 14, 2018
Day 13: Understanding vs. Feeling
Another competency of social awareness is empathy ( see Day 11: Set Boundaries ). Self-help articles and how-to blogs present empathy as a bedrock talent of emotional intelligence (EI). These resources greatly contribute to its continued acceptance and explain many of its complexities. However, topic saturation is also having contradictory effects and leading to common misconceptions.
For example, Cherry (2018) mentioned empathy is putting ourselves in “someone else’s position and feeling what they must be feeling” (para. 8). In another example, Streep (2017) also suggested that empathy involves feeling with others. Both ideas demonstrate what empathy is perhaps not about—taking on the feelings of others vicariously.
What empathy is more about is understanding others’ experiences and providing non-judgmental emotional support. In other words, we don’t have to feel what others are feeling to understand how they feel and be supportive. Let’s say someone is experiencing unpleasant, difficult, distressing or burdensome feelings. Do the former interpretations of empathy still apply? Would we want to be exposed to someone else’s pain, discomfort, uncertainty, or shame?
Surely, this is food for thought and there are many who likely would not because of the associated risks. If we engage in unbalanced empathizing our intrapersonal wellness becomes emotionally vulnerable, and undesired, counterintuitive self-inflicted harm is possible. Since assuming others’ feelings could have harmful effects, careful considerations should be taken when operating with empathy.
Understanding what empathy is and isn’t is one of the first steps to using it effectively. A healthy demonstration of empathy is what I call ‘expressive understanding’. Expressive understanding is being able to identify others’ feelings and articulate our understanding and awareness of their experience(s). These abilities promote enhanced communication as well as emotional bonding.
One approach that lends itself well to expressive understanding is reflective empathetic listening. This practice involves taking an interest in the information others share to identify emotional cues and opportunities for information sharing. It also draws on appreciative inquiry strategies to ask clarifying questions that encourage information sharing.
One strategy is XYZ fill-in-the-blank techniques. Give it a try and reflect on its conversational impact. It is a simple method which can be applied as follow:
I see you’re feeling X because of Y, tell me more about Z.
References
Cherry, K. (2018, July 19). What empathy is and why it’s important. Retrieved from https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-empathy-2795562
Streep, P. (2017, January 23). 6 things you need to know about empathy. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201701/6-things-you-need-know-about-empathy
I recently collaborated on another article for LinkedIn that explored strategies for managing emotions in high-pressure situations, specifically focusing on handling unrealistic client expectations. LinkedIn shared the following insights to start the conversation: "Maintaining objectivity is key to keeping your emotions in check. When faced with unrealistic expectations, it's easy to become personally invested or feel under attack. Instead, focus on the facts and detach your personal feelings from the situation. Approach the conversation with a problem-solving mindset, considering the client's perspective while also being clear about what is feasible. This balanced view will help you navigate the conversation with a level head." After giving it some thought, I added the following in response to their inquiry: Unrealistic expectations can arise in any business interaction. To manage them effectively, start by detaching yourself from personal frustration and focusing on the concrete details and feasibility of the client’s demands. Address the situation with a clear, fact-based approach rather than letting emotions dictate your response. This method helps guide the discussion toward practical solutions, preserves your professionalism, and ensures a constructive exchange. By staying grounded in facts and maintaining transparency, you reinforce your role as a rational problem-solver by fostering a more effective and productive dialogue. Embracing this approach also allows you to turn challenges into opportunities for growth and resolution. To further explore this LinkedIn collaborative article, click here .
Emotional intelligence (EI) is a factor affecting various personal and professional life aspects. It is defined as the capability to perceive, understand, manage, and apply feelings effectively. It is an indispensable requisite for emotional well-being and psychological safety, as well as overall effective performance in the workplace. This blog post explains how EI influences those aspects by emphasizing its importance in maintaining a productive and friendly work atmosphere. Emotional Well-Being Emotional well-being is an important component of mental health in general; EI makes great contribution to its improvement. A person with high EI knows how to perceive and control his or her emotions, which helps to handle stress and develop resilience. Key elements of how EI contributes to emotional well-being will involve : Stress Management: High EI persons can recognize and manage their feelings when they are stressed. They are, therefore, able to keep calm and composed, reducing the effects of stress on their mental life. Positive Attitude: T Individuals who have high EI happen to be positive in outlook. They also reframe negative experiences, focus on the positive aspects, and develop a more optimistic mindset, which consequently enhances their general emotional well-being. Resilience: EI helps them in developing resilience against emotional challenges. Since they manage their emotions well, they bounce back from setbacks faster and maintain good mental health well into the future. Mental Health: The ability to manage emotions fosters a reduction in anxiety, depression, and burnout. Individuals with high EI thus become resilient to emotional challenges, which is a guarantee of good mental health and well-being. Psychological Safety The concept of psychological safety at work is defined as "a feeling that one will not be punished or penalized for expressing one's self". High EI significantly enhances psychological safety in the workplace since it aids in empathy, effective communication, and resolving interpersonal conflicts. Key points to remember: Empathy: High EI people can understand and share the feelings of others. The empathy in them allows one to give immense support and inclusion to the employees at work by making them feel appreciated and recognized. Effective Communication: EI amplifies communication art, hence the individual can express and listen to others. In that respect, effective communication reduces misunderstandings and builds trust in teamwork. Conflict Resolution: Individuals high on EI are capable of resolving conflicts. They can handle the emotional dynamics, mediate disputes, and find mutually constructive solutions that help create a harmonious work environment. Inclusive Culture: Leaders and employees with high EI will be able to recognize and engage with emotional cues to create an inclusive culture where everyone can safely share their thoughts and ideas without being persecuted. Workplace Performance EI is considered one of the major predictors of workplace performance. Individuals with high EI understand how to handle their emotions and take care of the emotions of others, which improves teamwork, and collaboration, and hence enhances their performance at work. The essential elements of how EI can impact performance at workplaces include but are not limited to the following aspects: Teamwork: High-EI individuals could work in a team by empathizing with team players and influencing team dynamics based on the same. The art of doing this strengthens teamwork and allows groups to maintain more cohesive and productive atmospheres. Collaboration: EI leads to collaboration. People with high EI know how to treat interpersonal relationships, establish functional relationships, and work in various kinds of teams. Productivity: The efficient treatment of emotions significantly promotes better concentration and focus on work. High EI employees are less likely to be distracted by emotional disturbances, which raises their productivity level. Interpersonal Dynamics: High emotional intelligence helps an individual understand and manage the dynamics of interpersonal relationships. This minimizes the probability of disputes and misunderstandings. This ability develops better general organizational performance by creating an optimistic and collaborative atmosphere to work in. Emotional Intelligence is part of emotional well-being, psychological safety, and work performance. High EI individuals possess an excellent level of handling stress, keeping a positive outlook on life, and building resilience; therefore, they function well for their mental health and fitness. In the workplace, EI nurtures empathy, effective communication, and conflict resolution-that is, a psychologically safe environment where employees can prosper. Additionally, due to improved teamwork, collaboration, and productivity, EI greatly enhances performance at work. As organizations continue to recognize the value of EI, investing in its development will result in more engaged, resilient, and high-performing employees and teams.
EI has received considerable attention within the disciplines of psychology, organizational behavior, and leadership studies. Despite its reportedly popular influence on both personal and professional success, the theoretical landscape of EI remains diverse and keeps on evolving. The present article overviews the current theoretical diversity in the EI paradigm and emphasizes effective strategies for assessing and developing EI in various contexts. In this article, we revisit the theoretical variety in the EI paradigm by re-examining the distinct contributions and implications of each of the major models. We go on to detail good practices for the assessment and development of EI, reflecting current research and practical examples. The article aims to arrive at an advanced view of EI and its applications which will helpably shed light on and guide the efforts of researchers, educators, and practitioners toward furthering emotional intelligence in diverse settings. Theoretical Diversity in Emotional Intelligence Mayer and Salovey's Ability Model Views EI as a facet of cognitive intelligence involved in the processing of emotional information. Four-branch model: Perceiving emotions, using emotions to facilitate thought, understanding emotions, and managing emotions. Intends to make an objective measurement of EI through tasks and problem-solving activities. Goleman's Mixed Model Combines emotional and social competencies. Five components: Self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Has a greater focus on the practical utility of EI in leadership and organizational settings. Bar-On's Trait Model Conceptualizes EI as a set of emotional and social competencies that determine a person's well-being and harmony with other people. Includes personality traits; a strong emphasis is placed on the role of EI in maintaining good mental health. Relies on self-report questionnaires for the evaluation of EI. Petrides' Trait EI Model R efers to a constellation of emotional self-perceptions located at the lower levels of personality hierarchies. The subjective nature of emotional experiences makes many of them difficult to operationalize or quantify. Self-report measures tap into people's perceptions of their emotional abilities. Each of these theoretical frameworks has its meaning to both the researcher and the practitioner. Each model contributes something different to the conceptualization, measurement, and development of how EI can be understood and reflects the complexity and multifaceted nature of emotional intelligence. Whereas, for instance, the ability model by Mayer and Salovey focuses on the cognitive aspects of EI, the mixed model by Goleman brings together emotional competencies with social skills for a holistic view. By contrast, models by Bar-On and by Petrides put the emphasis on the subjective and personality-related dimensions in EI and provide other ways of assessment and development. Achieving Impactful Outcomes Given the importance of EI in various domains, best practices should be instituted for assessing and developing EI. Truly effective assessment strategies will be able to capture the multi-dimensional nature of EI through the use of self-report measures in conjunction with performance-based tests and feedback from others. Conversely, developmental programs should be tailored to needs at the individual and group levels through the use of personal coaching, training sessions, and organization-level interventions. Best Practices for Assessing Emotional Intelligence Multi-Method Approaches Combine self-report measures with performance-based tests and 360-degree feedback. Ensures a comprehensive assessment of the different facets of EI. Context-Specific Assessments Ensure that assessments are performed in specific contexts and for specific goals of organizations or individuals. Recognize that the expression of EI changes with environment and role. Continuous and Developmental Assessment Emphasizes ongoing assessment over one-shot assessments. Integrates regular feedback and plans for development on EI. Best Practices for Developing Emotional Intelligence Individual Development Programs Individual coaching and training in selected EI competencies. Mindfulness practices, emotional regulation exercises, reflective practices. Group and Team Development Workshops and training programs with groups/teams to enhance collective EI. Activities that encourage team bonding, empathy, and good communication. Integration into Organizational Culture Embed the development of EI into the DNA of the core values and practices of the organization. Incentivize the leadership to model high EI behaviors and support emotionally intelligent workplaces. Only by implementing best practices with regard to assessment and development will the full potential underlying the individuals and groups come forth. Using multi-method approaches, assessments fitted to specific contexts, placing a continuous emphasis on development, and integrating EI into the culture of organizations are ways in which practitioners can effectively and sustainably implement their EI initiatives. These efforts will go toward not only the personal and professional success of an individual but also the building of empathetic, resilient, high-performing organizations and communities. Inasmuch as the theoretical underpinning and practical applications are pursued, the field of EI will continue to grow, affording valuable insights and means through which emotional intelligence can be fostered.